Thursday, December 11, 2008

My Dedication to BFR


The charity I'm running for is the AIDS Foundation. In situations like this a lot of people are running for a certain person or dedicate the run to someone they know with AIDS. I don't know anyone with AIDS so I'm running for different reasons. Part of the reason I'm running is because I always wanted to run a marathon. However, a larger piece is because Augustana College took my lungs from me a few years back by neglecting to address a mold issue. This race is my way of taking my lungs back. Unfortunately my pet lizard-BFR -is not able to thumb his nose at Augie, because the mold ended up killing him a few weeks after we left. So for this marathon, my first and possibly only, I run for BFR.


BFR. Big ____ Reptile. I guess it's like the last "P" in the Naughty by Nature song OPP, it has many meanings. If I was talking to my parents, Krissy's mom or my little bro, it was Big Fat Reptile. However, in other circles, BFR has a much more R-rated name. It really depended on what you wanted it to be that day.


Picchi and Natalie hooked me up with BFR through a relative or something. He came to live with me and we had quite an awesome run together. His bedroom was shared with the foosball table and he would visit with any and everyone who came over to hang out or play a couple of games of the foosball. Because he was the only pet allowed in the building, BFR made quite a few friends. He was pretty huge and scared the poop out of many people, but most people were pretty comfortable coming over to watch a movie or have dinner while BFR roamed around.


I had a leash for BFR and I occassionally walked him though campus over the summer when it was warm and the students were gone. Occassionally BFR would run up a tree and I'd have to climb up and get him, but mostly he would just enjoy laying in the grass and feeling the sun. BFR's favorite spot outside was on the sidewalk right in front of Carlsson, our faithful (but moldy) home. Everytime BFR and I got past the driveway he'd stop on the sidewalk and just bask.


BFR had an on again off again relationship with Krissy. While Krissy was a little fearful but cool with BFR, he had some jealousy issues. Lizards like BFR fan their necks (and that floppy patch of skin below) and then bob thier heads when they feel thier territory is threatened. BFR did this almost every time Krissy would spend time with me. Toward the end days, it seemed as if he was finally becoming OK with Krissy coming over. I like to think that if he was still around they would be buddies (at least I hope so, if not, I'm not sure who I would be living with now).


Mustard Greens were BFR's favorite food. He was a big fan of all greens, but mustard were by far the best. I tried them once.... and well we never had to worry about sharing; gross. I had vitamins that I sprinked on BFR's food. Since BFR wasn't eating bugs, insects, Mothra, like nature intened, I supplimented him with the nutriants he was missing. That powdered vitamin ended up being BFR's demise.


Augie was drilling the 80 year old bricks, which had mold inside of them, and leaving the moldy brick mixture all over my apartment. Unfortunately one of the drill zones was right above BFR's tank. The mixture fell into the tank and all over him and his food. It looked just like the white powdery vitamin mixture and BFR ate a ton of it.


After my trip to the hospital, after warning Augie of prior respritory attacks, I quit. The problem with working and living on campus is that when you quit, you not only lose your job, you lose your home. So for a bit, while I was looking for a new place to live and a new job, I moved everything into a storage shed and BFR and I lived in my little red truck. Being homeless and jobless is a pretty miserable place to be in life, but having BFR living in the truck with me was a huge help. I think we were the best buddies that a dude and his lizard could be, without it getting creepy and gross.


I thought that BFR, bring a reptile, was immune to the mold and was good to go. But then he started acting weird. A trip to the vet and I quickly discovered I was wrong about BFR's immunity to excessive mold and BFR died. I took BFR to a hill on 7th Ave that overlooks the Mississippi and buried him there. Boy I sure hope that place hasn't turned into a subdivision or parking lot.


In two days I'll be running, walking, crawling 26 miles and each of those miles will be dedicated to my buddy BFR.






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