Predator in Wisconsin

No I don’t mean a new Dateline special.

This week, for my long run, I found myself in Elkhart Lake Wisconsin for the wedding of my friends M and C. I was there from Fri-Sun, so I would have to do my run in the Badger State. In past weeks I have discussed the mixture of drinking vs. staying up late and tried to find a happy medium that would work for my training. Well for the post-rehersal dinner party, drinking started at 8 and continued at a very accelerated pace until about 1am. Very accelerated, involving shots (for my boy D’s birthday). Shots and I used to be friends until a few years ago. Now they make me time travel and go from midnight until about 1:30am. Funny how that happens.

Well I woke up the next morning in pretty rough shape. But I have to do my weekly run, so after some encouraging from K, I get up, fill up my water bottle, get ready and go for a run. There was not a 7 mile track to be found, so luckily I had GPS on my watch which told me exactly how far I had gone. I started off and was in pain, wasn’t sure if I was going to make it. But I think because of the new environment, I was running fast.

-Mile one, away from the resort, past a golf course and up some country road with no sidewalks and not even a shoulder. Little dangerous, so I headed into town.

-Mile two, still running a little fast. I made my way into town and stayed on the main roads. Went past the a few stores when I saw something interesting. They had a “get cash fast” sign, but it wasn’t for pawning stuff or for a paycheck advance, it was for ebaying stuff. I thought it was kind of an ingenious idea, but then something else weird happened. I went past the store that was pawning off ebay stuff, and it was a Doll Store. Really. So I run past this doll store and am completely creeped out by the dolls in the window. What store could possibly be connected to this…oh it’s a Doll Hospital. It looked like I a mini M*A*S*H set. I was expecting a doll of Klinger or Radar to be sitting in there. Where the heck am I, who does this and why am I looking around, making sure Chucky isn’t about to chop my ankles.

-Mile three, hitting my pace and I think I sweat out the hangover. I’m feeling good now. I am hitting a lot of hills now, A LOT, and made it past the creepy doll store/doll hospital/ebay store and feel safe again. The road ran out of sidewalks again, but there was a park with a path. I went over and started a serious downhill decent. I went past the ball fields, playground and basketball court. The trail turned from concrete to blacktop to gravel. Then all of a sudden, as I was looking down, paying attention to the uneven trail I looked up and was in the middle of some jungle. I don’t know how it happened but I swear I was in the jungle from Predator. Once again, kind of freaked out. But at the same time, I had to keep moving because I needed to log some miles before I got back into town. So despite the hairs on my neck standing and my fear of being skinned by a Predator, I moved on. And kept moving down. Down down down. Logic wasn’t my friend now, because if I actually was thinking I would have realized that as I keep going down, eventually I’ll have to go up again. For some reason I thought this jungle was going to turn into an MC Escher painting and despite continuously going down I was eventually going to find the road and be at the top. Well I never found out if the jungle path ended at the road because once it got so narrow that I couldn’t stand in it, I turned around and headed back. Uphill….ouch.

-Mile four, out of the Predator jungle and up the huge ascent in the park. I didn’t care about the uphill in the park, I was just happy to be out of that jungle alive. I decided to run back into town and try to go away from downtown. Actually behind my pace now because of the Predator jungle, but a nice flat piece of road.

-Mile five, going out of town lasted a few blocks, now I’m about to enter the touristy downtown and still have to find a way to produce 2+ miles. I went into town and was immediately mobbed by strollers and soccer moms as the tourists were all over and loving this quaint little town. I got out of there ASAP and started running up and down the side streets. The people in their yards were a bit confused, but I logged some miles.

-Mile six-found a county road that unfortunately went up hill very steeply, but it got me away from the thousands of tourists so I took it. It was very big, but seemed almost flat on the way down. Hmmm.

-Mile seven-home stretch so I ran a little hot on the way back to the resort. A lot of tourists and the resort people gave weird looks as an extremely sweaty, hairy, I’m guessing smelly dude passed by, but forget them I’m almost there. Made it back 4 minutes and 16 seconds ahead of my 7 miles pace. Rockin'.

Wisconsin is very hilly. While I’m sure that’s good for me, it surprised me and I wasn’t ready. I hurt for 2 days following. Wisconsin is also very creepy and scary. I suggest anyone running there, do it with a friend, preferably a friend who is Arnold Schwarzenegger and can survive a Predator attack. Another lesson learned this week: While drinking may slow me down or make my run more painful, it doesn’t cause me to miss my run. I think getting home past 1 or 2 or 3 am is what is hurting my long runs. Good info.